Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Old Times and Companions

"Old man, give me endless time
Never let these ties sever"

At about 6:45pm today, I was sitting quite comfortably in my bed playing a video game and letting my body relax into the softness of my mattress. I heard voices outside and saw the blue sky poke through the shades covering my window and realized that I had to get outside and go for a hike. I had to be active. I just had to be doing more than just lounging on my bed wasting a beautiful day.

It wasn't purely my own motivation which got my butt out the door and into my car to head to the trail. It was also Laura. Laura Paradis.

"The tunes we've carried through the years will change
And man that's just enough to keep those ghosts around those haunted fields"

Today is Laura's birthday. She passed away at 27 years young after a brave fight from breast cancer just a little less than three months ago. I have Laura to thank for getting me out on the trail today. Today's trek was a relatively short stint - I was only in the woods for about an hour. But it was in a way commemorative of a much larger and more important journey of mine that I plan to take soon. Through nobody's intention but perhaps God himself, in one month (one month after Laura's birthday and on a day that is coincidentally my favorite number) I will be leaving my job, leaving my home and leaving behind my family and loved ones to go on a trip - 6 months of partially planned, partially not planned adventure.

The first phase of this trip will be a one month road trip from Massachusetts to British Columbia, Canada with my good friend Jacquie to go rock climbing. From there, well travel wherever the wind takes us - maybe we'll end up in Washington, maybe Oregon, maybe Montana! Who's to say?

One the second phase of this trip I'll be traveling solo. These weeks from mid-August to the beginning of September will be aimless and will likely be spent couch surfing from state to state.

The third phase of this trip will be a thru hike of the John Muir trail during the month of September with my good friend Sarah. This will be my first hike of such a distance, clocking in at about 211 miles. It will be an adventure in the way the word was truly meant to be used.

From there, my hope is to travel to Europe for about a month and see all the countries and places I've grown up wondering about and hoping to visit. The ticket hasn't been purchased, but I've checked my finances and the trip is only one mouse click away!

When I touch down stateside, I plan to stay home in New Jersey with my family to reconnect and relax. How those holiday months get spent is yet to be determined, but I'm sure it'll be time well spent since it'll be with mom and dad :)

Something you might ask is, "Why are you taking this trip and why now?". The answer is: I'm taking this trip because I want to. I'm taking this trip because I need to. I'm taking this trip because I owe it to myself to take this time to just be. Why now? I don't know if I'll ever really know why or how now became the time. Maybe the stars just aligned in the correct order and ghosts or angels whispered my start date into my ear.

Something you might ask is, "What are you hoping to gain or learn?". I'm hoping to learn how to be present. I'm hoping to learn how to come to terms with events that have happened in my life that have eaten away at me without me noticing. I'm hoping learn how to be bored, to be tired, to be anxious, to be scared, to be lost, to be alone, to be sad, to be excited, to be resourceful, to be resilient, to be confident, to be strong and how to just be and be ok with that.

Since freshman year of college, I've allowed myself to push away my desires, my friends and my family to focus on my education and my career. Some people say to live your life without any regrets,  but I do. I'd like to think that I'm not wrong or taking a poor approach toward my life by living with regrets, because it's those regrets that have forced me to look at how I treat the people I love most and reconsider. These regrets have become a part of me, burned into my skin in any which way, to lead me to a path of acknowledgment that I ought to be doing things differently.

If you are a close friend of mine and hope to reach out to me while I take this journey, please send me your address and send me a message to let me know how we can connect! Sending me an address will guarantee you at least 1 postcard during my trip. That's a big promise, hopefully I don't have too many friends! ;) just kidding.

In any case, writing has always been a fervent love of mine. I hope to reach back down into myself to unveil those creative juices long packed away to keep this blog going through my travels.

So please, send me your thoughts, send me your advice, send me your addresses!

Much love,
Chellebelle

"It's a hundred thousand miles of lonely track
Holding back tomorrow
Someday I'll hop along and ride it home"