Cellophane Boy

Time advances without  assistance or regard to man's desires. Weeks have passed since my last blog (my apologies) and in less than one week from today, my life will be fully contained to my vehicle and my address will be the open road. I have had an overwhelming list of tasks needed to prepare for my journey – slowly but surely that list has lessened with each passing day.

My first project was to install a makeshift, plywood bed into my Highlander. I would call the effort a resounding success! With the aid of my ex-colleagues and life-time mentors, I was able to construct a sturdy frame for a mattress pad, safely secured to the existing bolt holes left over from the second row seating and equipped with a pull-out table to use for food prep and eating. This took only about a day and a half - I attribute our expeditious progress to our shared experience in engineering projects as well as already owning most of the equipment. The first day consisted of removing the second row seating (which was surprisingly simple!) and prototyping the frame for the bed. Dave failed us initially as our head carpenter when he neglected to measure twice and cut once, but thankfully for my wallet, the frame was larger than it had to be. It's always better for have more material than less! On Saturday morning, we mocked up the pull-out table and Joe welded some super dope brackets to tie in the bed to the car frame. When the afternoon came, we assembled the rest of the parts and pieces to have a decked out, retrofitted Highlander! Excited to have many new nooks and crannies in my car for storage, I set off to procure as many items that I would need for my trip as possible (though during that week I only got as far as getting storage bins and organizers for the car).

What followed was an extra crazed week of dehydrating beef, apples, bananas and more for the John Muir Trail. The kitchen was littered with my vacuum sealer, Maranda’s dehydrator (Thanks girl!), rolls of vacuum sealer packaging, fruits and boxes of every kind of snack you could think of. The process of dehydrating was surprisingly simple, but time consuming. Last night I found myself thoroughly overwhelmed by the whole effort though. Trying to find the time to plan and physically prepare everything has been difficult while still working a full time job, not to mention being on a high priority assignment.

I have accomplished so much in these past few weeks – they have been both awesome and stressful. I've driven hundreds of miles between traveling to Taunton for work, Maine for pleasure, Hartford for friends and New Jersey for family. During these travels, I have found myself deep in thought about a topic particularly troublesome. What has been pressing on my mind is whether the choices people make to surround themselves with their passions actually presents challenges in facing the realities of our world. I am choosing to take this time off of work because I have enveloped myself in responsibilities and work such that I think it has taken a negative toll on my psyche and has not allowed me to address more serious, internal issues. But when does this time and freedom shift from being a necessity to becoming an addiction? Is it wrong to be addicted to freedom?

I have been listening to a podcast lately about long thru-hikes because of my upcoming trip on the John Muir Trail. Some people say that thru-hiking will ruin your life. That is not necessarily a negative idea. What people mean by this phrase is that thru-hiking is an immersing activity that takes you away from the distractions of society, such that once it is over anything that is not hiking or being outdoors is distracting. At what point does the choice to live the life you love mean that you are no longer being a “contributing” member to society? With the shootings of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile and the Dallas Police Force, is there a threshold we cross between taking a break from society and complete neglect for its issues? Please do not misunderstand, this is not in any way a cut against those who choose to make the outdoors their home and their life, but I have just been listening to so many interviews in which it seems as though “real life” and crowded, human interactions has become too much for some that the most preferable course of action is to leave it all behind. Again, I understand that every person has preferences – not everyone is meant to live in a big and bustling city. But are these folks that withdraw from their daily responsibilities and commitments doing it because of this genuine and personal preference, or is it as a result of a desire to disassociate with it all because it is the easier thing to do?

This has been on my mind because I would love to do a thru-hike and I am truly excited for my six month hoopla (as my mentors would call it), however I do not want either to consume me such that I feel that it is a waste of time to have a full time job, a family, a home and what some would call “comforts of life”. I suppose we will all see where I fall six months from now and whether these feelings still hold.

This song is absolutely NOT wholly representative of the thoughts reflected in this blog, however there are some key lines that (if you squint really hard), that remind me of this idea of blocking out reality.

And I can't relate to the hypnotist

And I can't get close 'cause of plastic wrap

And I want to have kids but their father's up inside the clouds

The distance between is on my mind

Up until now things have been fine, temporarily

You’re cute but the circumstance has changed

Your substitution method, crutch

Your whole protection from your pain

This presentation of my ploy

Is to change my Cellophane Boy

I actually think this song is about a man that Gwen Stefani wants to have children with, but cannot because he wants to continue wearing condoms lmao. Remember, this song is not representative, but if you squint really hard and pretend she is not singing about pregnancy…we will be on the same page.